Both my Crunchwrap Supreme and Cheesy Gordita Crunch were supposed to feature a hard taco shell that would, hypothetically, give an otherwise squishy meal an exciting crunch. I don’t think this stuff would even taste good after multiple adult beverages. Every food looks slightly off color-wise, as if each food were given a deathly pallor when it was boiled in the bodybag in which it was sent.Īnd I always hear my friends glorify Taco Bell’s taste. Even a misshapen McDonald’s burger, with the buns askew and the cheese hanging off to one side, still has a delicious looking set of colors to it: white onions, green pickles, and bold red ketchup on a brown patty and a tan bun. Taco Bell has no such style. I think McDonald’s cheeseburgers, or White Castle sliders, or Domino’s pizzas, all look greasy but appealing. The food didn’t look like something I wanted to eat. This failure of presentation wasn’t superficial – I didn’t care if the food looked pretty – it was fundamentally unpleasant. Instead, I was given two Frankensteined abominations thrown together with such little care for presentation that I suspected the “cook” in question was a drunk pekingese with eye trouble. I ordered a Cheesy Gordita Crunch and a Crunchwrap Supreme under the impression that they would be salty, unhealthy, and lovely. I just want it to taste good in the same way that McDonald’s or Domino’s does. In a two day stretch of meals last week, I ate Girl Scout cookies for breakfast, nothing for lunch, cheesecake bites from a fundraising party for dinner, a box of chocolate for the following days breakfast, nothing for lunch, hors d’ouvre from a fundraising party for dinner, and a Culver’s chocolate shake for dessert. I’m not demanding any sort of culinary revelation when going to Taco Bell, and I don’t even care if it’s nutritious. I think McDonald’s is good, and Arby’s curly fries are one of humanity’s greatest creations. I like to indulge in trash eats on occasion. My derision doesn’t come from any feeling of food elitism. This food is trash, and it cannot sustain your body. Taco Bell has opted to go a separate route, forgoing both sustenance or art in pursuit of sheer edible nihilism. Others strive to create meals that fill you up while tasting delicious. Many chefs attempt to elevate food from sustenance to art, collapsing and reconstructing combinations of flavors and textures into something that can transcend the baseness of human hunger.
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